So I'm back in Beijing now but I only have ten minutes to write because I have to get the kids on the bus and off to Tian an men square. I am lovin it here; it feels like I'm home again. I can understand everyone's accent, the food is better and I know my way around. I really love this city and am pretty sure I'm gonna live here. I also love being a chaperon. These kids are awesome they are all so sweet and we get along great (theyre pretty chill too I mean they listen to the pixies a lot so thats hopeful). That said I'm not sure if I'm really chaperon material. First off I can't keep my language clean to save my life. Last night while showing a group of girls to their room I lost my key and without thinking yelled "Fuck! Fuck me in the goat ass!" to which they were shocked speechless. Also I decided I was going to introduce them all to wu tang clan and so I passed around my i-pod and let them all play "method man" completely forgetting that that song started with the "torture a motherfucker skit". That said, in spite of my ineptness or maybe because of it they all love me and listen to what I have to say so thats nice. We spent the last couple of days in Shang Hai and in a small town (pop. 700000) outside of ShangHai called Jiang Yin. In Jiang Yin we all volunteered at a primary school which basically consisted of playing with a bunch of little chinese kids everyday. I taught them the solidi er boy dance and how to play kick ball. Chinese kids have really cornered the market on cuteness. I've always thought western kids always looked a little...off but these kids have really got my biological clock ticking. I can't wait till I get my own Chinese baby. Jiang Yin was bangin but I was staying with a kid my age from Shang Hai. He was very sweet and increeidbly smart but also stark raving mad. When he looked at me he would either be overcome with a laughing fit to the point where he would eventually collapse in an exhausted wheezing heap, or would pound on the walls screaming "I must not laugh! You must disappear!! Vanish! Now!!". Or else he would be overcome with terror and start trembling uncontrollably and say in a fearful tone just above a whisper "You are in mafia... you are a human trafficker... I can tell from your face". He always wore the ear phones/ ear guards you wear in shooting ranges to sleep and would wake me in the morning by whispering "Charley, your a bastard, your a bad man". As I said he was super sweet and we have actually become pretty good friends although there was the time on the bus when he leaned over and whispered "You must do me a favor. It is urgent. You must jump out the bus window and on the the highway. You must do it now." I guess I'll chalk that one up to cultural difference. Ok I gotta go but I have lots more stories to tell so I'll keep you posted.
They call me C-murder cuz I eat a lot of fish