I Told Her I Was a Disease Holder But I Still Hit It

Its been a minute since I've blogged.  I've been doin the school thing and this last week my boy Lucky was in town distracting me.  Anyway, everything has been pretty bangin.  I did get in a car accident a few weeks ago.   I missed my exit driving to school for a morning class and ended up in some residential part of Berkeley I didn't recognize.  I came to what I thought was a four way stop, noted the oncoming car, and turned right.  Unfortunately , it wasn't a four way stop and I plowed into a white Subaru full of hippies on their way to get in a morning round of frisbee golf before work selling energy bars at the R.E.I. (I can cross hitting hippies with my car off the ol' bucket list).  It was completely my fault and after pulling over I ran back to apologize and make sure everyone was ok.  Everyone was fine and they were all super gracious and sweet but one guy did kind of hit his head and one of the neighbors had called the cops so a cop car and some ambulances came.  Now, here I should mention that the night before I had lent my car to my cousin and her boyfriend to go and take pictures of factories in the central valley.  As a result my car smelt like it was actually made of blunts.  So naturally I was trying to keep the cop as far from my car as possible.  I think he picked up on the fact I was acting shady because when I searched through the glove compartment for my insurance form he stood on tippy toes  peering over my shoulder.  Unfortunately when I opened the said glove compartment three ping pong balls and an equivalent amount of condoms fell onto the passenger seat.  I, flustered, quickly brushed the fun stuff onto the floor, grabbed the first official piece of paper I could find, slammed the door and handed it to the smirking officer.  It was around that time that it started to rain so I joined the people I hit (my victims?) under an awning to apologize some more.  In one or two minutes the officer returned to tell me that the insurance form I had given him was two years expired and that if I couldn't find an up to date one he would have to charge me.  I told the officer that he should stay out of the rain, and away from my car, and returned to search the glove compartment again.  Good news, I found it pretty quickly.  Bad news, at some point I had written across it in pen, 

"BUY 

3x Mushroom   

Get out by 3:30!!!"

I handed it to him and because he was apparently an angel he didn't comment on it or the smell. That's pretty much the whole fun part of the story.  I'll spare you the unfun parts, the insurance people, the mechanics, having to cancel my collision insurance, the $10,000 of damage etc.etc.  Alright, some other shit has been happening in my life but I'll save it for another post. 

Uno

My Burrough Is Thorough

I just got back from my three day valentines day bi-coastal bachinalia. It was better than I could have imagined. There was not a dull moment. I saw all of my nearest and dearest loved ones from the New York area including my boy Lucky who took the bus all the way down from upstate. It is a tribute to how amazing everyone is that all of my friends are in serious relationships and all were willing to spend their love weekend gettin blasted with me. I didn't feel like a third (seventh) wheel once. I managed to eat fried chicken, a real ass Brooklyn Deli Rubin, bagels with bay-lox capers and cream cheese, two slices of pizza and a long ass chinese feast complete with 151 shots and them little pork patties fried with tiny salted silver fish. I went to a house party, a secret korean bar, a congee temple, a strip club and some swanky ass hotel (I think). I spent an entire eight hours smoking pot and slowly working my through a BANGIN cheese platter. Everywhere I went I ran into people I knew. Even the coat check girl at the strip club turned out to be an old friend who gave me and all my friends free entry and drinks at the club next store and some homeless guy with a broken sholder in Washington Square park gave me some tree for my elbo injury. Between the pain pills for my arm, the antianxieties for the flying, all the trees and liqs it all flew by in one smily love filled moment and now I'm back in my beautiful jewel of a city by the bay. Cross all your fingers that my boy D might soon be joining us out here for grad school. Everything is bright and gettin brighter. Muah.

In Love with My Best Friend

I will be spending valentines day in NYC with someone very special. Dustin Neuman.

My Anatomy is Bird Like, Yeah Ya' Heard Right

I fractured my elbow friday night during critical mass.  I was in the broadway tunnel when the guy in front of me bit shit sending me over my handle bars.  I wish I could say he was a douche bag but he was unfortunately super nice.  I was gonna tell the whole crazy story with blog appropriate thrills but typing with one hand sucks.  On the bright side, following my accident maybe now the radical hipster bike set will stop using me as the face of their movement and rally behind someone else.

A Vital Post

So school just re-started.  I will post in detail about it more later. For now I want to post about my evening last night.  I spent about four hours translating a document for class then to reward myself I decided to get high.  I haven't been smoking so much cause of school and being in china and all. So, when I get high I get really really high.  Last night I got so high that I couldn't sleep at all.  So, I stayed up for almost two hours, in the pitch blackness,  sitting on my bed eating cold thai food left overs, popping melatonin and listening to an NPR pod cast about the historical interpretations of the crucifixion.  Just a little insight...

I'll Kill You. Smoke a Blunt. Then Forget Where I Put You...

I got a second of down time (for those familiar with my schedule this is an obvious joke) so I thought I'd keep up this blog thing.  I'm back home now from China.  Getting home from China is like being on drugs.  I can't sleep at night, the colors are so bright, the air is so clear and crisp, every breath is sweet and cool and even the most foul urban breeze seems fragrant and almost floral.  My life at the moment is pretty bangin. Last night I went to a wild dance party club disco thingy, slept in this morning/afternoon, then spent the day in the country on a farm playing with puppies.  I got paid last night so my China job is officially over but I also heard the bad news that because of the financial crisis a bunch of the other trips to China I was going to work for this summer have been forced to cancel.  Thats shitty but I'm not really trippin.  A freer summer is always a mitzvah and now I can do whatever I want and I got plenty of other job offers in China if I wanna be over there.  I'm just gonna have to be more careful with my money (sorry local drug dealers) so I can afford some good adventures.  Also I heard about this pseudo job thing through Rustic Pathways called "flight leader" where they give a free round trip ticket to the world city of your choice and all you have to do  is watch 30 high schoolers on the plane then you get two weeks off to do whatever then you gotta come back to the airport and watch the same kids on the plane back to San Francisco.  They don't pay you or support you at all in the city but your completely free to do whatever for two weeks, the flight is free and they travel all over the world (Europe, Asia, Africa etc etc).  So I'm juiced on that.  I'd be lying if I said It wasn't a little boring to be back.  I miss being able to just go on a walk and have a crazy confusing adventure but I love my boys out here and its nice to be back in their warm embrace.

Underneath the Sheets I'm a Mess

This one is gonna be short.  I got back from the farewell buffet dinner in the middle of the Pu Dong river.  I got a bunch of thank yous and little gifts but by the time I got home I was over come with stomach pain.  I spent the night drinking water bottles sip by sip but every single sip made me throw up.  Thank god for the mescaline incident as now no amount of throwing up seems unbearable.  The worst was that I also had a fever and the fever combined with my dehydration made me forget where I was and hallucinate a little (emphatically not in a good way).  The worst was that my brain was completely scattered and working in a mix of Chinese, english and the maddening super slow broken english I used to communicate with the bus drivers and hotel staffers.  Anyway it was one of the worst nights of my life and I missed saying goodbye to all the kiddies.  By the morning I felt oddly ok... Now I'm in China on my own with a day and a half to have any adventures I want.  Keep you posted...